Your Secret to Love That Lasts [Special Valentine Series]

"Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies" by Aristotle

It's really worth reading for your future eventough this writing is a bit longer than another writings. Truly True! :)
In the end of this writing, there will be a real interesting story of mine. Enjoy! :)

Introduction:

Maybe many of us ask what's the secret to love that last? Well, maybe this writing may give you some inspirations and examples.

The knowledge of this writing is mostly given by Dr.Gary Chapman and his book,"The Five Love Languages".

Dr.Gary Chapman

Dr.Gary Chapman is a marriage counselor and pastor. His book, "The Five Love Languages", is a consistent New York Times bestseller - with over 5 million copies sold and translated into 38 languages.

It has been read by millions of readers all across the globe. This book give a simple and practical way to communicate your love to your partner.

The Five Love Languages by Dr.Gary Chapman

The Main Idea:

The desire for romantic love in relationship is deeply rooted in our psychological makeup.

People speak different love languages. In linguistic, we speak with our primary languange (English/Bahasa) and learn some new secondary languanges like French or Japanese.

In our romance life, it is similar. Our emotional love languange may be different from our spouse's love languange.
We can learn our spouse's primary love languange if we are to be effective communicators of love.

According to Dr.Gary Chapman, there are five emotional love languanges -- five ways that people speak and understand love.
The important thing is to speak your spouse's primary love languange.

Dr.Gary Chapman believes that each of us have a "love tank" that can be filled up. When we speak our spouse's primary love languange, we can "fill up" their love tank to a large degree.

The Five Love Languages are:

1. Words of Affirmation 

Using words to affirm the other person. The words may address the personality, some behaviors, and something they did for you.
It can be addressed toward anything. You're using simply a word to affirm the other words. It can be written/spoken.

For some people, this is a like a rain on their soul when you give this love languages. This is their primary love languange.

For example:
"I like your personality."
"That's a good work."
"You really look beautiful in that outfit."




2. Quality Time
Giving someone your undivided attention and to do something together.

For example:
- sitting down and talking with each other
- walking around the house complex together
- working on the yard together.









3. Receiving Gifts
Gift giving is an expression of love. Gift is not necessary to be the expensive one.

For some people, what makes them feel most loved is to receive a gift.

It's the thought and intention of the gift that's more important.

4. Acts of Service
Doing something for another person that you know he/she would like you to do. For these people, actions speak louder than words.

Example:
- Clean up the trash can
- washing dishes
- changing baby diapers
and so on.

The good question to ask to your mate if he/she has this love language is "What is the good thing that I can do for you this time?"




5. Physical Touch
Physical touch is a powerful emotion communicator. Like holding hands, hugging, kissing and so on.

To this person, nothing speaks more deeply than appropriate touch.

FAQ

1. How do I know my primary love language?
You can ask yourself this question: what is the number one love language that make you feel really happy and in love when your spouse do it for you? If you feel really happy and in love when your spouse praises you, your primary love language is "Words of affirmation".

Or you may take another perspective "What do you usually do for other people to show your love?" If most of the time you affirm other people, then your primary love language is "Words of Affirmation".
If most of the time you like to hug people, your primary love language is "Physical touch".

If you want to know your primary love language with a written test, please click here.

2. How about if my primary love languange is different with my spouse?
Many times a couple has different love languange between each other. That's good since it can give more color into our life.

The good answer to this question is to GIVE FIRST your spouse's primary love languange. And, then your spouse will reciprocate the love with your primary love language.

3. Is there any secondary love language?
Yes, there is. Everyone has primary and secondary love language. If we can speak to our spouse with their primary and secondary love language, we will fill up their "love tank" well and have a good relationship.

Testimony:

This is a truly real and personal story. I have a couple friend. Let say his name is Hugo Boss and her name is Prada (We use clothing brand's name to make it easier hahaha). Hugo Boss' primary love language is receiving gift. He loves to give/receive gift to/from other people and friends especially his girlfriend.

There is a time when he wanted to give a surprise gift to his girlfriend, Prada. When he gave the surprise gift, Prada's response was not pretty well. She said "What is this? I think I don't like this". Fiuhhh...
According to Hugo Boss, that kind of sentence and response were like a stab in a heart. (Yeah we know that his primary love language is "Receiving Gift". He felt really not excited anymore.

After sometime, Hugo Boss knows that that Prada's love language is "Quality Time". What's most important to Prada is the time  that Hugo Boss can give to her.


It is okay that each of us speak a different love language. The thing that Hugo Boss could do at that time is to speak Prada's Love Language --> Quality Time. From that time onward, Hugo Boss focused on giving Prada a good time like having a chat and going somewhere together.

After that I see with my own eyes, Prada begins to reciprocate Hugo Boss' love languages. She started to give gifts to Hugo Boss more than before. He felt very happy and excited when he received gifts especially from the love one. And the love cycle goes on. hohohoho

Note: I'm still learning in this lesson and knowledge since I believe it's a life-long learning and process. So, let's learn together! hahahaha



Hope it helps,

Cheers,

Albert ^^

The next interesting writing topic:

• 22nd February 2014 (Good Idea Series): "The Relationship Between Our Vocabulary and Good Life." ~A Habit That May Benefit us in School, at Work, and Socially